LADIES PLEASE MAKE SURE THIS NEED IS NOT MET TOO SOON BY THE WRONG PERSON!! One of the things that we want to make women aware of is their vulnerability to what appears to be a dependable man. It doesn't matter how strong or independent she may be, if she allows a male that is a non-relative become dependable, then her wall of protection will come down leaving her highly vulnerable. For that matter we also want to inform good males that they need to protect this vulnerability in their female relatives. Please understand that one of the most desired qualities ladies look for in a male is that he simply be someone upon whom she can depend and trust. In many cases, the man that she is with may not be as aware of this need as he should be, so for his sake we want to help him become keenly responsive to this requirement. For many men, fixing something around the house is not always a top priority but for the woman it is very important. Leaving the house broken for her is like leaving herself broken or undone. In other words it becomes personal and not just an inanimate object sitting in the home. It gives her a sense of wholeness and security when the male handles things in a timely manner or at least let’s her know when he plans to take care of it. Of course if he makes a schedule of when he is going to actually fix things he needs to keep his word. In fact it gives her a feeling of comfort and confidence when he handles things without her ever having to tell him at all.
This is part of what she means when she says that she wants him to be a man. Basically, she is saying that she wants him to be responsible, to take the initiative in handling things that need to be taken care of and be willing to make decisions. When a man is not aware of this or fails to handle this responsibility and another male consistently steps into this place; the male in her life is leaving her vulnerable to the possibility of infidelity , harm or possibly placing her in a position where she will begin to question his manhood. This doesn’t have to be verbal. She can simply stop asking you to handle certain things and do them herself. This is not good because whenever a female has to look past you it becomes not just a matter of dependability but also matters of trust, and trust is not an easy thing to get regain. There are many men whose wives (or other women in their lives) have taken the reigns and are not willing to trust him to handle his position as the male or man in her life. As we said earlier women desire to have a male that they can depend on.
The story of Joseph (Genesis 39:1-19) gives the best example of how this can happen. While Joseph was a slave in the house of Potipher, he became supervisor over everything that they owned. He made sure that all the needs of Potipher’s family were met, kept a record of everything they produced and brought great wealth to his masters. According to the scriptures his master didn’t even know how much money he had. As a result of this Joseph was not treated like an ordinary slave. He wore the best clothes and in the eyes of the entire household Joseph was the man of the house. Now it must be understood that Joseph never flirted with Mrs. Potipher, but in her eyes he was the man in her life. Why, you may ask? It is because he was the one who met her needs on a consistent basis and because of this she became quite comfortable with him causing her to see him in a totally different light. His motives were honorable but that didn’t matter to her. Her husband had allowed her to become vulnerable and she let herself feed into this fantasy to the point that she was ready to force Joseph to have sex with her. Now let us go over some lessons that cam be learned from this episode. Brothers, make sure that you are aware of the need for a woman to have a male that she can depend upon. Secondly, protect her and yourself by taking care of your responsibilities and finally be careful of being so helpful to other women who are not relatives for you are not quite as strong as you think. Sisters, true to the Eve Factor this is something that is innate so you need to make yourself aware of it. You also need to be aware that some men are not conscious of this, so if you have a husband, son, boyfriend etc. you need to clearly warn him. You need to spell it out for him in plain old English. You need to get him this book! Don’t beat around the bush. Tell it like it is. I'd like to say to both males and females, "Please be aware that there are males and females that are experts at this and are looking for opportunities to capture prey. The way this works is simple. First there is Mister Helpful, then trust is built and over a period of time someone gets too comfortable." That’s why the formula is DEPENDABILITY + TRUST = VULNERABILITY.
