"Excuse Me Miss. Are You Lost?"

Standing on the street corner was a lady who looked like she was going somewhere, but for some reason she was not making any progress. The look on her face seemed to indicate a little confusion. She was looking around, started walking in one direction then stopped and turned to go in another direction and stopped again. Looking across the street she leaned forward as if she was going to cross, but hesitated. There was a real look of frustration, disappointment and confusion on her face all at the same time. I don't know how that's possible, but if you ever saw it, you would know what I'm talking about. Being the type of person I am I wanted to help, so I walked over to her and said, "Excuse me Miss are you lost?" There comes a point in every couples relationship where the lady is unable to enjoy the bond between her and her mate. Don't get me wrong she's still going through the motions, but that's all it is. Going through the motions. If you were to ask here what's wrong she would be unable to tell you. If her mate tried to find out what the problem is in an effort to fix it, she would become totally frustrated with him. Is it because he has done something wrong? Not necessarily. You see, she doesn't need to be fixed and, if the truth be told, she may not really know what is going on herself. That's why she became agitated when he attempted to get her to explain what was going on. What is going on you may ask? Well, she is in a state of what may be referred to as being lost. Sometimes we  refer to it as losing herself. How does she get there? Why does this happen? What can she do about it? Whoa! Take it easy here. One question at a time. Come on guys let the ladies get some questions in. Just kidding. Nevertheless lets get real with this. Here's what happens. Ladies give so much of themselves to the males in their lives to the point where there is literally nothing left. We've found that when they arrive at this point they seem to go on autopilot and continue giving. This continuous "pouring out" phenomenon is what we are alluding to when we say that she is lost. What about her is actually lost? That's a great question. It is the intrinsic value of self, who she is, where she's going and her personal sense of worth that seems to have slipped away from her leaving her completely unaware of what has transpired. It is sort of like giving your all and, in spite of having nothing left, everyone is expecting you to be at your best. You really cannot function properly. Think of it as her losing her sense of wholeness or better yet think of her walking around feeling incomplete with no idea as to why she is experiencing it or, for that matter, how she arrived at this point. I want to clearly drive home the point for all of us that, in many cases, she may not know that she's lost herself until she's been there for quite some time. Needless to say the poor guy has no clue what's going  on  either or, for that matter, what to do about it. Can you see how this can be a problem within a relationship?  She doesn't realize that she's lost herself and he is totally unaware of what's going on.