Hey Fella, It's Not About You!

One of the most problematic things about a lady losing herself is the male's difficulty in realizing that this situation is not about him. It is difficult for him because she may blame him for a lot of how she is feeling whether he is a direct contributor or not. However, the direct problem here is that SHE HAS GIVEN AWAY TOO MUCH OF HERSELF!  This doesn't mean that the guy isn't guilty of being an inadequate mate, but what it does mean is the lady needs to again find her way back to wholeness. My brother if she is blaming you for whatever, just handle it knowing that the real problem and focus needs has to be in helping her find her way back to self. Nevertheless understand that IT IS NOT ABOUT YOU! I know that's hard when everything she may be saying etc seems to be pointing your way, but if you love and respect her, then you'll be willing to walk with her through this. One of the most important things she needs during this time is security. What is security? I am glad you asked. Security is knowing that you are going to be there regardless. So, don't be so quick to walk away from her. Stop trying to fix her because she doesn't need to be fixed. The problem is that she doesn't know what's wrong herself. That's why she keeps getting frustrated with you when you try to fix her or make her tell you what's wrong. Do you love her? If you do then understand that she needs your support, listening (non-critical) ear and time. Let her talk until she feels that she has totally expressed whatever is in her heart. I know this could take hours, but believe me it is worth it. By the way, you do not and should not lose your manhood through this process because what she needs at this time is a man. Okay lets get back to the listening. The reason you should let her exhale (talk) is because it is through the process of her expressing what she feels that she can come to the conclusion of what's going on within herself. You know how it is. Some problems are bigger in your head than they are in reality and sometimes when you talk it out you ultimately resolve your own problem. Let her do this. Don't run away from this. Don't throw up your hands and say forget about it. Don't say she's tripping and for Heaven's sake don't take it personal! You've got everything it takes to help her through this. Remember, it is not about you. The problem is that she has given away too much of herself and needs to be replenished!